Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It's over

D, my IVF nurse called me. I thought it was weird she called in response to an e-mail I sent her about what to do about BCP since my last pill was today.

She told me that the recipient had backed out. Apparently, the recipient came in for her embroyology and injections class, and freaked the fuck out. She lives a few hours away from here, and she couldn't handle the time committment. WTF did she think IVF was? Waving a magic wand and hoping all was good on the day of ET? My IVF nurse thinks she either didn't have the $$ since deposit time was coming up, or that she did not follow her doctor's orders and diet to get her out of the pre-diabetic category by baseline. Or maybe both.

Frankly, I do know this is for the best. If someone cannot handle the time to do IVF and can't even follow a diet long enough to make baseline, what does that say about their committment to this? Not a lot, IMO.

My nurse said that I could just go on inactive right now, since I am starting this new job, and become reactive as a donor when I am ready, which will probably be late next summer/early fall. I do feel a bit relieved, but also a disappointed. It seems like there is always an obstacle for me to achieving my dreams of being pregnant.

I just have to trust in God's plan and know this recipient was not the right one for me, and that next year, God will provide me with someone who is ready at the same time as me.

I plan on still blogging, and hopefully getting back into the swing of things this time next year!

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