Love this....

I am being a total copycat from Sulfa's page, but I loved this so much, I had to repost it on my blog for my few readers. In case you didn't see it previously, it pretty much hits the nail on the head in regards to the stupid things people say but should not say to those suffering from infertility.

So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile?

1. As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!

2. You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!

3. My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.

4. I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.

5. Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

6. Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.

7. So… when are *you* going to start walking?

8. Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk - everywhere I go!

9. But don't you *want* to walk?

10. You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.

11. You're so lucky… think of the money you save on shoes.

12. I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.

13. I hope you don't try those anti-paralysis drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.

14. Look at those people hiking… doesn't that make you want to hike?

15. Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.

16. Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.

17. I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.

18. I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.

19. You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.

20. Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.

21. If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

22. If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

23. You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!

24. You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.

25. Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!

26. Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!

27. When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.

28. And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running…

So here's a little hint. If someone you know tells you that she's trying to get pregnant and it's taking longer than expected, DON'T tell her to just relax. Don't tell her to adopt and then surely she'll get pregnant with her own child. Don't tell her that God has a plan for her. Don't say, "At least it's fun trying!"

Scheduling sex with the person you love isn't fun. Getting vaginal ultrasounds every other day and intramuscular injections in your ass twice a day isn't fun. Finding out every single month that - yet again - it didn't work this month either is Just. Not. Fun.

DO tell her that you're sorry she's going through such pain/grief/frustration. Do tell her that you're glad she told you. Do tell her that, even if you don't bring it up (because you want to respect her privacy and understand that she might not feel like talking about it sometimes), that you're there for her if she ever wants to talk or vent. And DON'T feel that because she told you that it's okay for you to tell your other friends, children, co-workers, neighbors, cousins, mailman, whomever - unless she tells you that it's okay to do so. Your need to share news pales in comparison to her need to maintain a shred of privacy and dignity.

I think this should be mandatory reading for ALL!!!

Cancelled cycle

Well, as most of you know already, I went in for my CD 12 check up Christmas Eve and had no follies above 10 mm. I had to go back in Monday on CD 16, and again, my follies were only around 12 mm on both sides. My trigger was cancelled. The RE said we could still try naturally, but there are no guarantees I will surge and O naturally, only the time and the P4 test next week will tell.

I'm not really surprised this happened. What does surprise me is my RE's determination to go forward with yet another Clomid cycle next month- at 150 mg to boot. Good Lord, I was an emotional TRAIN WRECK at 100 mg- will the small piece of my pre-TTC life that I still have intact completely be destroyed? Is the 100 mg from this cycle making me completely overreact to this news? Definitely.

I know I am by no means a medical professional, but to me, common sense tells you that if I am not responding to 100 mg, and responded poorly the cycle before to 50 mg, perhaps my body is not going to respond to 150 mg? When I asked the nurse to riddle me this yesterday, she kind of came back at me snarky and said, "Well, we will go all the way up to 200 mg before we will consider moving on to injectables. If you want to move on before that step, you will have to come in to Dr. K and explain your position to him."

Well, I'm not going to fucking do that. What basis do I have other than Clomid is making me a crazier person than I already was? (Their response: You were aware of the possible side effects of Clomid before beginning treatment) I don't think that will warrant a treatment change from him, and I don't care to be lectured on why he is the doctor and I am the infertile patient, YKWIM?

So, I guess for now, I have to trust in my doctor. I guess my problem is that with every appointment that comes and goes with more bad news stacking on top of the last, it is hard to ever see a positive end to this journey.

I am off work this week, thank God. Mr. jme and I are painting the master bedroom, our master bath, and the spare bath. Things are looking good so far, pics to come later.

Spread too thin?

I don't know about y'all, but ever holiday season that rolls around, I am left wondering: what happened to the fun and excitement of Christmas I felt as a child? Well, obviously, I am an adult now and have more responsibilities, etc, but the past few years, I have felt at times overwhelming anxiety towards all of the stresses of preparing for a holiday. I always try my best to shop ahead of time, but I always seem to forget something or someone, and have to go out last minute to buy a gift. I also feel stress about my items I bought online arriving on time. This one is huge for me this year- I bought several gifts for important people, like my dad, grandmother, and husband, that have still not arrived. So now, instead of feeling like I can throw back an eggnog and start rocking out to Christmas tunes, I feel worried and fret over these things.

I also feel stress about committing ourselves to too many events during the holiday season. For example, I just had an unpleasant conversation with Mr. jme re: this weekend. A few weeks ago, my FIL, in his usual fashion, pressured Mr. jme into agreeing to go to a Christmas party this Saturday night of some acquantances in our Mardi Gras society. Well, fast forward to this week, and my FIL announces that we are having our family get together on Friday night. Well, fuck. We have already committed to both, so instead of resting and getting ready to head up to my mom's next week, we will be spending time getting ready for both parties, getting a Secret Santa gift for the party on Saturday, and recovering from both nights all day Sunday.

Don't get me wrong: I love parties, and normally I would love a double header weekend. However, this is a weekend where I need to get organized and prepare for being out of town for 5 days. I just wish we could have only gone to one, and spent the rest of the weekend being smart and getting ready for a seamless exit from Mobile Thursday.

To top it all off, I am in my third medicated cycle, and my CD 12 u/s check is Christmas Eve. So, depending on what my RE says, I will either have to a) take my trigger with me to my mom's and find a way for me and Mr. jme to bone while we are there, or b) have to cut the trip short and return for yet another ultrasound the day after Christmas, more than likely.

So, where I am going with all of this? I was just reminiscing about the holidays when I was younger. Even as a teenager and college student, I loved just spending time in my home with my loved ones, soaking in the Christmas spirit and making memories, not spending my time at the mall, or the RE, or being stressed b/c I don't have enough time to do what I need to.

Sorry for the mega vent, just wanted to throw it out to the universe. I have to admit, I do feel better after release.